


Protecting and Proud

by Hils



Series: Tumblr Fics and Prompt Fills [7]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-18
Updated: 2015-02-18
Packaged: 2018-03-13 16:37:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3388709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hils/pseuds/Hils
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompted by <a href="http://everkings.tumblr.com/">everkings</a> to write something to accompany <a href="http://everkings.tumblr.com/post/106741564836/hawke-this-hawke-that-why-does-everything">this art</a></p><p>Cullen provides a small amount of comfort to Trevelyan and her party following the attack on Adamant Fortress.</p><p>WARNING: This fic contains major spoilers for Dragon Age Inquisition.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Protecting and Proud

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [annundriel](http://annundriel.tumblr.com/) for checking this over for me

The camp is still, quiet, with a heaviness that weighs on Cullen as he weaves his way between the tents. The rain is falling heavily now so most of his men, save the ones keeping watch, have retreated inside. None of them are strangers to loss. It comes with the job. But to lose Hawke...even those who hadn’t known her in Kirkwall had heard the Tales of the Champion. This had hit all of them, Cullen included, harder than he’d expected. 

Usually the Inquisitor sets her tent up in the center of camp, but this time it’s different. She’s set up right at the edge, away from everyone else, where they won’t be disturbed. Cullen suspects this is for Varric more than anything. The men have come to rely on Varric for their entertainment and usually Varric is happy to provide exaggerated stories and tall tales. Not today though. Perhaps that’s why the camp feels so quiet tonight.

He pauses outside the Inquisitor’s tent. He can see the light from the candles filtering between the gaps in the material at the entrance but it’s quiet inside. He pushes the flap open. Whether he’s welcome or not he needs to do this, even if he’s asked to leave. He needs to see her one more time, just to reassure himself that she’s alive and safe.

Four pairs of eyes meet his and he pretends not to see the wetness on Varric’s face.

“Forgive the intrusion. I know-” His voice falters and he has to look away from the pain on their faces. “Going into the Fade - and you’re all tired.”

Maker, this was harder than he ever imagined it would be.

“I can’t begin to understand what you saw in that place…”

His eyes meet hers and he sees exhaustion there, sorrow, but also relief and gratitude. It gives him the strength to press on.

“The officers - we found a bottle of dwarven wine. We wanted you to have it.”

Her eyes flit over to Varric for a second and then back to him, the faintest hint of an apologetic smile on her lips.

“Cullen, that’s so very kind of you but I don’t know if now-”

Of course. Of course he shouldn’t have come. It was a foolish idea. This was a time of mourning and Varric needed his friends and comrades not a token gesture from a man who existed on the fringe of their group.

He nods and turns to leave.

“No.” Varric’s voice is soft and slightly muffled by his arms where his chin is resting. “We should drink it. Celebrate her life. It’s what she w-” his voice hitches “what she would have wanted.”

Cullen nods and hands the bottle to Cassandra who accepts it with a watery smile.

“Stay,” Varric says when Cullen once again turns to leave. “You knew her. Make sure you get good and drunk, though. She always wondered what it’d be like if you ever took the stick out of your butt.”

Cullen can’t help but snort. “Yes, I can imagine.”

Dorian scoots over and makes a space between himself and the Inquisitor for Cullen to squeeze into. As soon as he'd settled she closes the small gap between them, leaning against him and and resting her hand on his leg. On his other side Dorian also moves closer. It’s not as intimate, but he’s clearly craving physical contact as much as she is. If Cullen can do nothing else he can provide this. He lays his hand on top of hers and leans a little closer to Dorian. Maker, what the Fade must have done to them…

Varric pours a cup of wine for each of them and raises keeps the remainder of the bottle for himself. No one can deny him that and when he raises the bottle in a silent toast to Hawke they all match him.

The wine burns on its way down Cullen’s throat. It’s far more potent than anything he ever had in Ferelden or Kirkwall. 

“I didn’t know Hawke,” Cassandra finally says to break the silence. “All I knew was what I’d read in Varric’s book. But I admired her greatly, even if I didn’t always agree with her choices.”

Cullen nods. “I may not have always seen eye to eye with her but I was proud to fight by her side when it mattered. Although I will never forget the time she tried to convince me Varric was a mage. I suspect she was trying to buy some time to allow some _actual_ mages to to escape but for a few moments she almost had me convinced.”

Varric actually snorts at that and Dorian lets out a soft chuckle.

“She told me about that,” Varric says and his voice was a little lighter than it had been earlier. “I should have put that one in the book. It gave us all a good laugh anyway. Sorry, Curly.”

Cullen waves his hand dismissively. “I’m not proud of the man I was back then. I suspect I deserved it.”

“Did I ever tell you about the time Hawke decided it would be ‘fun’ to take on a bunch of slavers operating off the Wounded Coast? Only when we get there it’s more than just a few slavers trying to make some coin it’s like half the Imperium is there. And Hawke - she just walks up to their leader, tells them her name and that Kirkwall is under her protection. Maker as my witness they just pack up and leave rather than fight her. We were outnumbered five to one!”

“She sounds like quite the woman,” Dorian says warmly, and Cullen’s proud that he doesn’t take the moment to defend Tevinter.

“She is,” Varric laughs and then his smile falters. “Was. There was time I thought we were toast - but she threw herself at that spider’s ass. Literally threw herself at it. She bounced a foot off, but it distracted them and we made it through. Still can’t believe we made it out of that one.”

They listen and drink their wine while Varric tells them more stories about Hawke, laughing at some of the outlandish things Varric tells them. Cullen’s sure some of it has to be exaggerated but it’s doing all of them some good. Varric is smiling a little now and the heaviness that had been settled over the tent seems to have lifted a fraction.

Finally, Cassandra yawns. “Forgive me, Varric. Please go on.”

He shakes his head. “No, it’s alright, Seeker. We’re all exhausted. We should get some sleep.”

The beds are already made up and Cullen starts to rise to take his leave when a hand slips around his wrist. 

“Stay?”

He looks down at his Inquisitor. He would never deny her anything, least of all when she’s looking at him the way she is now. So raw and open.

“You may as well,” Varric chimes in before Cullen can reply. “You know your secret relationship with our dear Inquisitor isn’t quite as secret as you think it is.”

Cullen feels his cheeks flush red but he allows himself to be tugged down next to her and he wraps an arm around her when she curls into him. Dorian settles down on the other side, his leg warm against Cullen’s. 

Cullen raises his head. “I know it’s not easy, but try and get some sleep too, Varric.”

Varric raises his bottle. “I will as soon as I’m done drinking. Thanks, Curly.”

Cullen closes his eyes and pretends not to hear the sniffling or the soft “Goodbye, Hawke.”

He hates himself for thinking it, knows how selfish it is, but lying here with the woman he loves in his arms and the man who is the closest thing he’s had to a best friend beside him he can’t help but be thankful. If Hawke had led the Inquisition as Cassandra had intended he wouldn’t have any of this.

_Thank you, Hawke. For all that you did and all that you sacrificed. May the Maker grant you a place at his side._


End file.
